I'm Not Dead Yet; Connor.

[Deleted]

Connor chuckled. "I dunno..I-I probably managed.." After all, he'd cried in front of him.
Sighing with the though, he glanced back at the log again, bracing his little weight on his arms as he leaned back.
"But y-yeah." He didn't know why he was talking to her. She probably had better things to do than sit and listen to him, after all.
"You know if the water i-is warm?" Maybe he'd go swimming if only she could see. She probably understood more than anyone else around here.

[Londyn Thomas]

I shake my head in silent disagreement with him, though I don't say anything. I wasn't that big into speaking, so I usually just stayed silent. This conversation was the most I'd talked in a long while, and I was surprised that it was.. nice. Connor was the only one who'd seemed to care, to even begin to understand. I hum along with the beat of the beginning of Bulletproof Love by Pierce the Veil. "Honestly I have no clue, but it's nice out, so, probably." I reply with a small shrug. I finally relax out of my harsh position and cross my legs instead, the scars more prominent, but, whatever. Connor had already seen them, traced them even, so I wasn't going to bother. But, it was still awkward. I take my shirt from the ball it had fallen into and shake it out in an attempt top re-fold it better. But, I sucked at folding. I let out a huff and finally just set it back down.

[Deleted]

Connor hesitated. "I wanna go swimming.." He murmured. "But I-...you can't judge kay?" Swallowing the knot in his throat, he moved to pull off his hoodie, revealing thin scarred arms, but paused at his shirt, ready to hange his mind about swimming after all.
"Would you if I-I do? We can stay over here..n-nobody has to see us.." Suddenly more for his own comfort, not hers. He missed swimming, had dropped swim team all together after Adam died.

[Londyn Thomas]

I reach for my bag, nodding absentmindedly. I look up as he pulls his hoodie over his head to reveal scarred arms. I glance back at my bag, pulling my Edgar Alan Poe book from it and opening it to the short story I'd left off on. I huff, looking up from my book at Connor. "You've seen me. You didn't judge me. Why would I judge you?" I ask, shaking my head slightly. I knew where he was coming from, though. "Promise." I add, holding out my hand with my pinky extended towards him. "Nobody will see us." I add, making a small smile creep over my face. I wanted to make him feel better, and if faking something so little as a smile would make him feel better, I would do it.

[Deleted]

"I-...I dunno..." He complained, glancing over his shoulder. Was it sad tha the person he was most worried about seeing him shirtless was Attyston?
She was holding her pinky out, and he sighed, swallowing what little pride he had and curling his bony pinky around hers, slowly beginning to remove his shirt. Connor was literally starved. His ribs jutted, stomach thin and slightly incaved, hips were starting to protrude as he slipped from his jeans, left in his swim trunks. Razor scars littlered his hips and pelvis, cutting even beneath the bottoms. They littered his ankles, a few up to his shins. Inner elbows were marked from needles, some fresh. The rugged scar across his throat where his father tried to slit it...the bullet dent over his heart when he first tried killing himself and above it Adam's name tattooed in blue and black cursive.
But the worst was his back. Layers of scars laced the skin from lacerations of beatings, over protruding shoulderblades, the ridge of spine, down to his lower back, a few wrapping his side. About ten of them were freshly scabbed from that morning.
He swallowed again, lowering his gaze in humiliation. "Don't t-tell a-a-anybody..." He begged hoarsely. "Please do-on't tell...."

[Londyn Thomas]

"It's fine." I was reassuringly. It was. If I could dare to be in a bikini in front of someone, then Connor could most definitely be in swim trunks around someone. Finally he leans in to curl his thin pinky around mine, and I smile slightly before sitting back with my book in my lap. I raise my blue gaze up again, stunned by what I say. I was nothing compared to him. I was nothing but a whiny little girl next to him. I shake my head in response. "I swear I won't, Connor." I say quietly, looking up for my eyes to meet his. I felt for him, I did. But it wasn't pity or anything.. it was understanding. I certainly hadn't been through what he had, but I knew that I could at least understand not wanting to be seen by anyone, not wanting someone to tell other people on you. I got it.

[Deleted]

Connor bit his lip, terrified of putting his trust in her, reluctantly he gave in and nodded, hiding withon his towel as he wrapped it around himself, walking towards the water. At it's edge he looked around wearily and dropped the towel, stepping into the water. It was a little chilly on his feet but enough to get used to, and he waded just past waist deep before diving under and swimming to where he could barely tough, to where the water hid his body. Only then did he begin to relax again, turning to glance at her curiously and wondering if she would follow or not.

[Londyn Thomas]

My eyes follow him before I look back at my book, my purple hair falling into my face. But, I couldn't concentrate. Maybe it was the story? I didn't know. I look after Connor to see him looking at me and a slight blush creeps across my face. I sit looking down at my book for a moment in indecision before I finally shut it and stand up, tying my hair back with a hair tie that I had on my wrist. I walk across the sand and down to the water, casting a glance back the way I had come, hoping no one noticed me, but, with my hair color, it was pretty hard to blend into the background. I let loose a sigh and wade into the water, making a face at how cold it was before finally it reached my waist and I launch myself forward to swim out towards Connor. "You didn't tell me how cold it was." I say crossly, though there's a small grin on my face. It had been forever since I'd swam. Years, probably.

[Deleted]

Connor smiled when she headed towards the water and waded in. Upon swimming out to him she was complaining and he grinned crookedly. "It's n-not that cold," He whined, shaking water feom his hair and face. "I miss this.." He finally murmured, almost absently. It was hard to find the courage to join the swim team again though when you were marked up like he was. Especially when hiding the fact that you got beat at home. He dove back under, splashing her gently as he went.

[Londyn Thomas]

"What do you know?" I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes slightly. I kick my legs to keep my head above the water, my blue eyes landing on where Att and the others were sitting on the beach. Connor dives under the water, splashing my as he did so. I wipe my face with my hand, though it doesn't do much good. I shake my head, waiting until he came back up before splashing at him. I start back stroking away, a laughing floating from my mouth as I did so. It was nice to be around someone who at least appeared to understand, instead of offering apologies and stupid advice. It was something that I really wasn't used to, but I liked it. And he knew Att, and he went to my school, so Connor wasn't, like, a total stranger or something.

[Deleted]

Connor laughed, growing a little more comfortable. It was funy, he'd been so emotional lately and et recently he had laughed a lot more than he had in awhile. He chased after her, but in a lazy fashion that didn't have him gaining much ground. He knew he exhausted easy, especially with his lack of food, so he didn't want to have to go in too soon. Eventaully he reached out and poked her foot before dicking under the surface and swimming below her, popping up ahead of her instead and sticking out his tongue.

[Londyn Thomas]

He laughed. It sounded tusty, as if he hadn't in a while. which wasn't surprising with the way he looked and the way people treated him at school. I wasn't anything comapred to him, I think again. I soon slow my strokes, my blue eyes looking down the beach. Movement catches my eye and I see Att waving to me. I mumble a couple curse words and bat a hand playfully at Connor after he pokes my foot. My attention is more on my brother than what's going on around me, so I bump into Connor and stop, turning to face him. "Sorry." I say, a light chuckle coming from me as I look at the water cheepishly. I push some of my violet bangs that ahd escaped the holder out of my face before looking back at my towel on shore, slightly wanting to go back because we'd been spotted.

[Deleted]

Connor coughed a bit, telling Londyn it was alright when she bped him. He had seen the wave, too, and frowned. Well shoot. He really didn't want him seeing..well...this....
Swallowing, he followed Londyn's gaze the way they had come, not so sure he could beat Attyston there.
He ran a hand through his wet hair in stress, treading the water slowly, at a loss.

[Londyn Thomas]

I can see the desperate, yet resigned look come over his face. "Come on, I'll grab your clothes for you." I say, already stroking back to shore. I knew Riddle and Gene would want a reason for why Attyston was starting over here, and he more strolled than actually walked, but I could still tell Connor was stressed. My feet soon hit the bottom and I scuttle up into the sand, slipping my own shirt over my head before grabbing his shirt and towel and heading back. "Here, didn't know if you'd want your pants." I say calmly, already walking back to wrap my towel around my waist. I didn't cut on my legs, so I was rpetty much fine, let's just hope Att wouldn't make a huge deal over my arms or something. I let a small sigh escape my lips. I knew this wouldn't last forever.

[Deleted]

Connor swam back slowly, feet padding through the sand, thin body trembling. He dried his back off, actually whimpering in pain. Maybe that had been a bad idea. He wrapped the towel around his lower half, only scarred arms in view. But Att had already seen them. He stood there in the sand, hair dripping, thin body trembling his faint shivers. Despite the finger shaped bruises on his jaw, pain in his eyes from the now raw wounds on his back rubbing against his shirt, he forced a rather fake smile at the approaching Attyston, then eyed the log and shifted his weight to keep warm.