Around & About

[jeffrey]

I pull my locker open, almost hitting Kathy in the face with it as I did so. I hear Kali come up behind me and mentally scream out a string of curses to the world, to fate. "You're not stealing me." I interrupt before Kathy can say anything. Even though I'm not looking, I know she's glaring death at me.
I'd never asked her to be my girlfriend, and had turned her down when she'd asked me out. I'd be with her, but not date her: even I had my limits. Girls around school said I 'had problems with commitment'. Pft, whatever, they were just mad because I wouldn't change my ways for them. And why should I? They were all the same- except for their looks. That was all that was different.
I pull my black Adidas gym bag that doubled as a bookbag from my locker and stuffed my math book in it- it was one of the two classes I'd had so far, and the only one who'd given homework. "Kay, let's go." I say, closing it and turning to the two girls who were having some sort of silent stare down. Oh God.

[xcrisis]

I sighed and looked away from Kathy. I would let her have this victory. I really didn't want to deal with her today. I was tired, I looked like a mess, and I was pregnant. In all honesty, she had the biggest victory here. She wasn't pregnant. That's a victory in my book. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean I was taking up your time. Since you're driving me home. You didn't have to do that." I turned back to Kathy and frowned. "I really am sorry about that." I almost threw up saying the words, but they needed to be said. She could take them however she pleased, but I was being serious. I followed Jeffrey down the hallway as I pulled out my phone. Texting Kayla that I was skipping and to collect my work for me. I sighed and turned to Jeffrey. "Is Kathy your girlfriend? Or fuck buddy? Or whatever she is? Either way, you should tell her something. So she doesn't freak out. Kathy's one of those girls I never got along with. She gets jealous easily. And when she's jealous, she's in an insane mode." I got quiet after that. Allowing him to drive to the clinic. The closer we got, the more my shock was wearing off. I'm going to be a mother. Fuck.

[jeffrey]

I ignore the girl fight and estrogen filled air all around me and instead pull Kathy into an awkward hug before slinging my bag onto my back and starting off down the hall with Kali at my side. My keep my face expressionless as we walk out of school and out into the parking lot. We have to cross it and the bus parking lot to get to the student parking, which was filled with awkward silence.
Once we get into my truck it's a different story though. I unlock it and open the door for her before walking over to my side and tossing my bag into the back seats- I needed them for when hitting the town with my friends. I bite my tongue and stick the key in the ignition without starting it. Should I answer? The hell with it. "Fuck buddy." I say, starting my truck before twisting around to look behind as I backed out.
I knew how to get to the clinic- they told us exact directions in every sex class we'd ever had and pretty much made us memorize it.

[xcrisis]

I never really thought silence could be this awkward. All the way to his truck, and even after he answered my question, we were sitting in silence. The worst silence ever. I hope we weren't always like this. That would get annoying. "Uhm... Okay. So..." I let my words trail off as I stared out the truck window. I watched the town fly by. My heart felt like it was in my stomach. I would never be looked at the same again. And I would never look at this place the same either. I was the party girl who finally lost her virginity, but got pregnant in the process. I would always have that label. Even after I had my baby.

When we pulled up to the clinic my heart started to race. This would be the real test. The one that would tell me the truth. I step out of the truck and slowly walk inside. Sighing in relief when no other couple are in there. I walk up to the desk and tell the clerk my name and explain that I don't have an appointment. She tells me it's a slow day, so she sends me right into the back. No waiting. No time to freak out. Good. The clerk tells Jeffrey that for the first appointment, I have to be alone. The doctor has to do a personal exam.

I walk into the back and sit on those uncomfortable beds and wait for the doctor. When she comes in she frowns. I guess she didn't expect a teenager. Luckily, her frown quickly turns into a smile. "Okay, now i'm going to ask you a few questions, then i'm going to send you to the bathroom for a urine sample. Now. What's your full name?" I smile at her, and sit up straighter. "Kali Shea Candon." She writes my name down on her clipboard and continues. "Date of birth?" I give her my birthday and she jots it down. After that she asks for the approximate conception date, and the date of my last period. "My last period was on the 15th of last month, and my conception date was on the 25th of last month." She writes everything down and then sends me into the bathroom with the cup.

After finishing up, I hand her the cup and she walks out. I sit back on the bed and wait in terrified silence for the fifteen minute wait. When she comes back in she has a small smile on her face. But I could already she the results in her eyes. "Congratulations Kali. You're pregnant. Now, since you're so young, and this is your first child, I will schedule another appointment for three weeks from now. During this time you might start to experience mood swings and fatigue. You may also notice some light spotting. That's okay. It's normal. Morning sickness might start a few days before you're next appointment. I've also prescribe you some prenatal vitamins, and asked the clerk at the desk to collect some items for you. Read through them carefully. Now, take care sweaty. Don't get to stressed, and take care of yourself. Eat healthy and don't drink and alcohol or do anything of that sort." She smiles at me one last time as I walk out the door. I don't look at Jeffrey until I have everything I am suppose to get. When I have everything I stick them all in my bag and turn to Jeffrey. I'm crying again.

"Congratulations. We're parents."

[jeffrey]

After my reply, silence on the whole drive there. It gave me way too much time to think. About how this would affect me, my family, my reputation, how girl's -and Kathy- viewed me. They'd avoid me, thinking I was irresponsible, or that my sperm was too strong, or whatever: they'd find a way to make sure no one slept with me again, probably.
Once we get there, I park and climb out, walking in beside Kali. It was awkward, but there wasn't anyone else here, so it wouldn't be as bad as it could be.. though I still felt that the clerk kept looking at me and judging me. I square my shoulders and nod as Kali walks alone down the hallway. I turn to sit down in a hard backed chair, leaning forward to run my hands through my hair. I pull out my phone and debate on texting Kathy. I needed to tell her that there was nothing going on with me and Kali. But, then again, did I really need to? She wasn't my girlfriend, I didn't owe her a damn thing.
Instead, I flip over to Mark's number to ask him to pick up my homework for me. I stick it back in my pocket and lean back, light green eyes studying the ceiling as the TV on the wall talks about nutrition of toddlers; it almost seemed to be mocking me.
After what seemed like hours, Kali walks back out and gets a bag of stuff from the clerk and I stand and walk over to stand slightly behind her at her right shoulder, like a hovering presence. When she turns to me, there's tears streaming down her cheeks. I was certainly going to be a father. Fuck. My mouth opens slightly. It wasn't a sham. It was real and I was really going to have to deal with Kali and her pregnancy and the baby. I take a step forward to pull Kali to me in a hug, leaning my head against the top of her's. I bite my lower lip, my light green eyes directed at the floor.

[xcrisis]

I lean into Jeffrey for support and bury my face in his jacket. Life sucks. You make one wrong decision and your whole life gets flipped upside down. My parents were going to hate me, my friends would think I was a whore, and the school would label me as easy. Fuck. I had completely forgot about my parents. I was already a foster kid taking care of my two year old foster sister. How in the world was I going to explain to them that I was pregnant? Would they send me away? Kick me out? Send me back to the foster care system? What was I going to do?

I lean out of the hug and wipe my face. I probably looked like a mess. But Jeffrey was probably use to that by now. Speaking of Jeffrey, his sudden burst of compassion shocked me. He had yet to show me he actually cared about our situation. Besides his promise to stay by me, and his coming with me to the clinic. But his hug was exactly what I needed. Maybe I should have told him sooner. I could have used his support from the first day I suspected my pregnancy. I slipped my backpack onto my shoulder, and looked up at Jeffrey.

"I have another appointment in three weeks. And hey, do you think... uhm... I could crash at your place tonight? I know you probably don't want me too, but I can't face my foster parents. I think I would have a break down. I just need a night to get use to the idea. Maybe we can help each other tonight?"

My suggestion was a long shot, but I really couldn't face my parents. If he said no, I would just crash at Kayla's. But I didn't want to have to deal with her questions. I didn't need that right now.

[jeffrey]

She leans into my hug, her face buried in my shoulder. Kali leans back out of it soon enough, wiping at her face. The clerk taps me on the shoulder and I look back to see a tissue. I flash her a smile and take it before turning back around to hand it to Kali. I hold my hand out for the bag, wondering if she'd want me to carry it out to the truck or if she'd want to do it herself.
I nod as she tells me that she has another appointment in three weeks. "Tell me what time and I'll pick you up." I offer. I quirk my mouth to the side thoughtfully at her question before nodding. "I can tell my parents, too." I reply. I knew it wouldn't be good to have her there when I told them I was going to be a father, but then at least they could know who she was. "We have a guest room." I add, offering her my hand as I turn towards the electric doors to leave. I don't bother to ask about what 'help each other tonight' meant, though I knew it didn't mean sex. We both needed someone who understood our situation, and who would understand and help better than ourselves?

[xcrisis]

I gratefully traded my bag for the tissue, and wiped my face. I guess the clerk wasn't as judgmental as I thought. She was nice enough. I stuck the tissue in my hoodie pocket, and took Jeffrey's hand. I was pretty surprised he was going to tell his parents already. Usually it's the girl who tells her parents first. But I was pleased. Better to see his parents reactions first. Maybe if i'm there things will go over more smoothly. I walk with him back to his truck in silence. And climb into the passenger side after releasing his hand. After i'm situated I take my bag back and get the bag of items out of it to sort through.

"So I have prenatal vitamins, some booklets about pregnancy, teen pregnancy, birth complications, and what to expect when the baby is born. And they also decided to give us a bag of condoms. I don't know why. I mean, we don't need them anymore. And I also have a chart explaining food and exercise requirements. So we have a lot to read over the next three weeks."

I sigh and curl my legs underneath me on the seat, leaning my head on the window. I'm going to be a mom in eight months, and i'm only fifteen. This is lovely. "How do you think your parents are going to react to everything? Do you think they'll hate me?" My voice started out strong, but turned into a whisper on the last sentence. What if his parents DID hate me? Would they refuse to see their grandchild?

[jeffrey]

She takes my hand and we walk back to the truck and she climbs up. I get in the driver's side, shutting the door behind me. I look over as Kali goes through her bag and make a face. "Am I going to have to read those too?" I ask, making a face. Hopefully not, but know doctors, I probably would. There was probably a book or pamphlet specifically on how baby's affected their father's, or how to be 'one' with the baby or some bullshit.
But, I keep these thoughts to myself and pull out and get onto the road again, turning towards my house. "I don't know." I reply with a limp shrug, keeping my eyes fixed on the road. "Are your.. foster parents home? Do you need to pick up clothes?" I ask, adjusting my grip on the wheel. I was dying to change the station- this song was terrible. But, music probably had an affect on the baby, too, and I'd probably screw something up.

[xcrisis]

I sighed and put everything back in the bag, and then zipped up my backpack. "We both have to read them, so we know what to expect. And Heather is. Justin should be home any minute. And no. I always keep a change of clothes in my bag just in case I crash at Kayla's. So i'm fine." I sighed at the terrible song, and flipped to the next station. I know music affected babies, but the baby didn't have completely functional ears yet. He or she wouldn't notice the sound yet. "What station do you usually listen to? I don't care what's on." I let him take control of his own stereo. It would be rude of me to play with it anyways.

When we finally reached Jeffrey's house, my heart started beating faster. What if his parents hated me? What if they refused to accept my pregnancy? What if they disowned their son? It would be all my fault. In order to calm myself down, I reach for Jeffrey's hand when I get next to him. Not caring if he wanted me to hold his hand or not. I wanted the comfort. He had held my hand before, but at his own prompting. He would have to deal with mine now.

[jeffrey]

I let out a groan as she replies that we both have to read them. I didn't get why I had to, it wasn't like I was the pregnant one or something. But, whatever. If I needed to go along with it, I would. "97.9" I reply as she asks what station I usually listen to. It was a mixture of new and classic rock- both were good. Rock was rock and it was good.
I pull into my driveway and fight down my nerves. I wish Kali had to go get clothes, just so that I could delay telling my parents. They'd always been cool about stuff, but getting a girl pregnant? Probably not so much. I get out and she takes my hand in hers and I offer her a reassuring smile, though I didn't know if I was trying to convince her or myself. I pull the key out of my pocket and let Kali's hand go for a moment to open it before taking it up again.
"Jeff, is that you?" my mom calls, her voice confused. My dad was at work and probably wouldn't be back for three hours. "Uh, yeah. I have someone you need to meet." I call back and I hear her heels clacking upstairs. I bite my lip as my mom turns the corner from the stairs, her brow creasing when she saw us.

[xcrisis]

I was always a parents favorite. I could charm my friends parents in a heartbeat. But the parents of my babies father? Whole different story. "Hi Mrs. Ingram. I'm Kali Candon. It's nice to meet you." I smile the best smile I can manage. I hope it wasn't to bad. I don't think I can actually smile a genuine smile right now. "Sorry to barge in on you in the middle of a school day." I added, looking up at Jeffrey. Hoping he would say something. I was at a loss for words, and I wasn't use to that. I leaned into Jeffrey for support, and grimaced. I was exhausted. One of the booklets I had skimmed through earlier said fatigue was natural, even during the early weeks. If Jeffrey's mom didn't kick me out, I was probably going to pass out in the guest bedroom when we got done talking. I felt like I could sleep for days.

[jeffrey]

My mom looks at Kali curiously. She probably thought she was my girlfriend, though she'd met Kathy- it probably confused the hell out of her. Kali was obviously a charmer, and her bright, cheery voice only made it that much better. "Oh, uh, it's fine dear." my mom replies, though she hasn't caught on yet.
"Kali needs to stay here tonight." I explain, shrugging my shoulders. Should I get into the pregnancy thing now? Or wait until my dad was home? Shit, this was harder than I thought it'd be. I swallow, looking at my Sperrys. "What?" my mom asks. she knew me enough to tell that something was up.
"Kali is.. uh, pregnant." I say, my light green eyes looking up at her from under my poofy bangs. She raises her eyebrows, and it takes a moment for her to get my full meaning. Not just was Kali pregnant, but I was the father.

[xcrisis]

One parent down, three to go. This was quite terrifying. I was so scared of Mrs. Ingram's reaction that I hid my face in Jeffrey's sleeve, and gripped his hand just a little bit tighter. After a few moments of silence, I peek out from Jeffrey's sleeve, and look at his mom. Who seemed to be in shock. Not mad yet, which i'm sure she would be later. Let's just hope she doesn't try and kill me. "Mrs. Ingram?" I whispered. Hoping the women wasn't about to faint or anything. That would be a terrible reaction. Nothing I really wanted to see. I look up at Jeffrey, and then back at his mom. I raised my eyebrows, unsure of what to do.

[jeffrey]

She doesn't say anything, but nods. It scares me- my mom could usually talk forever. Either that or she was just wrapping her head around the whole thing. "I'm gonna take her up to the guest room." I say, taking Kali's hand to lead her past my mom. She watches us go and I knew she'd be figuring out how to tell my dad. I didn't think he'd go ape on me, just give me a talking to about whether I was really ready to take on the responsibility or not.
I lead her up the stairs, and down the hall. "Last one is my parent's room, yours is across from mine." I explain, opening the guest room door. One plain bed, a dresser- nothing fancy. I lean against the door jam, hovering. I didn't know if Kali wanted to be alone or needed my company.