Around & About

[xcrisis]

After two weeks of trying to remember that night, I had just given up. I remember little things. Like shaggy brown hair and green eyes. And vodka tonics. And loosing my virginity. But most of that night had been a blur. And now a month later, I was starting to freak out. I should have started my period a ten days ago, but it still hasn't came. And i'm usually a regular person. I've never been late. So i'm starting to freak out. But who knows. Maybe i'm just stressed because of school. That can make girls irregular. It happens to my friends all the time.

But just in case, i've been trying to think of a way to tell him. I remember him. And I know he's in my gym class. I just... I don't want to tell him to early. Because what if i'm wrong? What if it's just a false alarm. I could freak him out. And he may think i'm an attention whore. He might think i'm psycho. That wouldn't be very good.

I'm pretty sure i'm having a mental breakdown. My subconscious is screaming at me. And my heart rate is spiking. I've lost my appetite, and I don't know what to do. I'm in the middle of the lunch line, and i'm having a mental breakdown. That's wonderful. Where the hell is Kayla? She's my best friend. We're suppose to have this best friend telepathy thing where she knows when I need her. So where is she?

As i'm freaking out, I run into another body, luckily I hadn't picked up my tray yet. So no food went flying. I was mentally hoping it was Kayla, but I doubted it. Since the body felt muscly, and Kayla was not muscly. She was tiny and not at all athletic. I look up at the person I ran into and my face pales and my heart rate spikes even more. If it gets any faster I might have a heart attack. That would be awkward.

[jeffrey]

I'd seen Kali around- it was pretty hard not to notice her when she was in your Gym class and lunch. But, I hadn't spoken to her just yet, hadn't called her or texted her either- why go back when I could sample other things? I mean, I probably would eventually, but it was too early just yet. And she hadn't talked to me. She'd said she'd wanted to see me again, but she hadn't made this clear again- but she was obviously not exactly sober that night.
I'm standing in the lunch line, completely focused on secretly texting Kathy, my light green eyes looking down at my hoodie pocket. I'd barely pressed 'send' when someone ran right into my torso. I glance up, slipping my phone into my pocket in the hopes it wasn't a teacher or that I wouldn't drop it. I raise my eyebrows as I look down at Kali.
"Long time, no see.. or talk." I say, a light chuckle in my deep voice. I decide not to act as awkward as she obviously was- the distressed look on her face said enough.
Outfit; Hoodie, Pants, Shoes.

[xcrisis]

If I wanted to I could bolt out of the cafeteria. I wouldn't have to confront hi, or even think about him. Well... I would have too. He's in my gym and lunch. And he's possibly the father of my possible child. I would have to talk to him eventually. Wouldn't I? Or could I just not tell him? But what if I am pregnant? Would I still leave him out of it? Would I want to ruin his future? Would he hate me? Maybe it would be best to actually get to know him first. Decide if he could handle the possible news. He didn't need to know until I was absolutely sure I was pregnant.

"I might be pregnant."

Well that's not what I meant to say. Well this is awkward. I clamped my hand over my mouth as a few tears escaped my eyes. Shitshitshitshit. I can't cry. Not now. Not here. Shitshitshit. I bolted around him and ran out the cafeteria doors, hoping no one had heard me. I ran into the girls bathroom and slide down onto the floor and pulled my legs to my chest. I let the rest of my tears escape down my cheeks. Why had I said that? I hadn't meant to. I was gonna say something like, "Yeah. I know. That was rude of me." But instead, I had to blurt out my thoughts. I put my head down on my knees, and just sobbed. "What am I going to do?" I whispered to myself.

outfit; here

[jeffrey]

I smirk has since formed its way onto my full mouth and I'm about to ask why she'd been avoiding me- in the most playful way possible- when Kali blurts out that she 'might be pregnant'. My bushy eyebrows raise in surprise and, before I can get my thoughts together, she'd breezed by me and practically flew out of the cafeteria.
Might be pregnant. So.. not for sure, right? Yeah, of course. It couldn't happen, not to me, at least. Surely Kali was just begging for attention, maybe she thought I didn't like her, or our night a month ago? Well, I had, but I hadn't gotten around to her again just yet. I bite my lower lip in indecision. Go after her or stay and pretend nothing was the matter. I let out a low growl of frustration before turning to stride out of the lunch room, ignoring the questions of my friends.
"Kali?" I ask in a low whisper, standing outside the girl's bathroom. She'd probably come in here to hide, and I thought I'd heard a voice. Then again, it probably could be some random girl who thought I was a creeper right about now.

[xcrisis]

A whisper at the bathroom door made me jump. Shitshitshitshit. I probably look like crap. I know my mascara was running down my face, and my eyeliners was smudge. And I know my nose was red. But for some reason, I stood up anyway and walked to the bathroom door. I had locked it on my way in, so I unlocked it, and opened the door a crack. "Jeffrey?" I whispered. Frowning. I thought he would have been pissed of at me or something. I mean, most guys didn't like hearing a girl from a previous one night stand had possibly gotten pregnant. I mean, it wasn't my fault, but still. I opened the door a little wider, showing my mascara covered face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I was going to wait until I was positive to tell you. I-it just kind of came out." I mumbled, if I kept talking, maybe I would quit crying.

[jeffrey]

There wasn't an answer for a while, and I was about to just shrug my broad shoulders and walk away when the bathroom lock clicked and Kali's voice reached my ears. It was high and wavery- obviously she'd been crying. Oddly, I didn't feel guilty. I mean, it was a possibility- not a certainty, and I hadn't meant to get her pregnant, if it was me, I had no clue of her sexual history.
"Yeah." I reply lamely, leaning casually against the wall and crossing one Sperry over the other. I knew she'd think it was odd I was so unaffected, but it wasn't for sure, and didn't girls like men to be their 'rocks'? If so, that's what I'd be for her.
She soon opens the door all the way and I get to see her red nose and running mascara. This pricks a little pin of pity in me, but I was still able to push it aside for now. "Its not your fault." I say, shaking my head slightly. It really wasn't. If there was blame to be pinned on anyone it would probably be me, but wasn't she the one who had asked to go off alone? I mean, I would have, too, but it was still all Kali.

[xcrisis]

I could tell Jeffrey doubted me. Sure, he didn't know who I had been with, and he didn't know I had been a virgin before him. And I haven't had sex with anyone else besides him. He didn't know that either. But how was I going to tell him? I couldn't just tell him he took my virginity. That would be awkward. Considering how I had come on to him. At least... I think it was me initiated everything. I don't remember exactly.

I walked back into the heart of the bathroom for a second to grab a piece of paper towel. I wet it and then walked back to the door. I wiped my face and stepped out of the bathroom. I had to explain everything to him. Maybe he would show a little more emotion if I did. I leaned against the wall, and then slide into a sitting position. I looked up at him and sighed. No one was in the hallways. Now was the best time to explain.

"If I am pregnant, there's no doubt it would be yours. You're the only guy i've ever had sex with."

[jeffrey]

She soon disappears back into the bathroom and I run a hand over my face, letting out a quiet sigh. How had this happened? One night, and this. Sure, it wasn't 100%, but I was still worried. Would Kali expect me to help her care for it, for her? I didn't owe her anything, especially not so much of my precious time. I bite my bottom lip as she exits the bathroom once more, wiping at her face with a piece of paper towel.
I squat down beside Kali as she slides down the wall to sit on the floor. I rest my arms on my knees, looking at the floor as I attempt to think of something to say, though I soon don't have to fill the silence- Kali does. "Shit." I breath, putting my head in my hands. "If." I remind myself, looking back up at her. "Its not sure, right?" I ask, my tone slightly hopeful. I didn't know how I'd deal with her and a child- and the blow to my reputation it would make. Sure, I'd get points for getting her, but making her pregnant? That would just make me look irresponsible. I mean, I could always say she'd come onto me, but it would still be my fault, I knew.

[xcrisis]

Sure, I wasn't completely positive, but ten missed days? That was a telltale sign. The only other reason I could think of was stress. And I wasn't that stressed out. So it could only be the one thing. "I'm ten days late." I looked away from him as I whispered those four words that said everything. The one sure fire way to find out if i'm pregnant is a test. Which I had in my bag. I've been to scared to take it. I pulled my bag towards me and went into my smallest pocket. I pulled it out slowly, and showed it to him. "I've had it for three days. I've been way to scared to take it. Should I do it now?" I whispered, looking past at Jeffrey. I couldn't look at him right now. If I did, I think I would cry again.

[jeffrey]

I bring my eyes back to the floor as Kali looks at me before telling me it was ten days. Over a week. It didn't seem like much to me, but to her it was. I nod my head ever so slightly, running a stray hand over my face again as if when I removed it this would all be a terrible dream; that Kali wasn't pregnant, or that our night hadn't happened at all- maybe that would be for the best?
My light green eyes watch as she pulls her black and white bag to her to pull out a pregnancy test and I resign myself. This was real, this really was happening to me. But, it couldn't be true, could it? It wasn't my damn fault. "Yeah." I say, looking Kali full in the face, though her gaze was situated past me. I had to know for certain, even if pregnancy tests were wrong sometimes- there were always more that she could take to be 100% sure that it was either a yes or a no.

[xcrisis]

I slowly stand up, lifting my bag on my shoulder. I walked into the bathroom and went into a stall. I stood there for a second. Unsure. Did I really want to know? I mean, I would know in a few weeks. I would know when the morning sickness and bloating were suppose to start. That would tell me everything I needed to know. But could I really go that long without knowing? Probably not.

I sighed and shimmed out of my pants. I followed the directions, which were simple. Just pee on the stick and wait five minutes. The pee part was easy. The agonizing part was the wait. So I just sat there. Scared to look. When I figured the time was up, I looked. And my heart sank. I was gonna be a mom.

Before walking out, I put on a straight face and walked out of the bathroom. I needed to know one thing before I told him. "Before I tell you, answer me this. If I am pregnant, are you gonna stay around for the baby? If you don't i'll just walk away. No hard feelings. I will understand. Things like this happen. I wouldn't want to ruin your future. But if you will, then we will need to figure things out."

[jeffrey]

I watch as she stands up, slinging her bag onto her shoulder before going back into the bathroom. I pull my phone out of my pocket, hoping to distract myself with a text. Kathy asking why I'd run out of lunch. Yeah, like I'd really tell her that. I decide not to answer- I either tell her a lie or the truth, and neither sounded very good at the moment. I slip my phone back into my hoodie pocket and pull out my comb, running it through my shaggy sandy brown hair quickly.
I hurriedly stand up as Kali opens the door and I look down at her, stuffing my hands into my pocket and twisting them together. But she doesn't tell me, instead asking if I'd stay around for the baby. Would I? No more parties. No more one night stands- but if they led to this, was it that bad of a thing? Yes: it mean no more fun. "I'll help and take responsibility." I say instead. I wasn't pledging myself to Kali- not yet, what if it was a defect? I'd heard of that before.

[xcrisis]

I almost fell over right there. That wasn't the response I was expecting. But i'm glad I was wrong. "Well then Jeffrey. Welcome to pre-daddy hood. The test was positive. We can go to the free clinic now, or later just to be sure. Sometimes home tests are wrong." I sigh and walked over to my locker. Which was just across the hall. "I'm skipping the rest of the day. I don't need to be stressed out." I stick my unneeded books in my locker, and sling my now lighter backpack over my shoulder. "Are you staying? Or skipping too? Because if you are, I would really appreciate a ride. I don't wanna walk." Sure, I was acting calm, but I think i'm in shock. I'm not sure. I think feeling numb meant shock. "But if you decide to skip too, might as well go to the clinic now."

[jeffrey]

All in a couple of sentences, so easily stringed together. I was going to be a father. What would my parents say? What would my friends say? What would her parents say? They'd probably hate me right off the bat. But, then again, that wasn't my problem- Kali and the baby were.. if there was a baby. I was still clinging to the hope that it was all a sham, a defective pregnancy test.
"I'll skip." I say, standing from my squatting position on the floor. "My locker's up the hall." I add, turning from Kali without a goodbye. She knew I'd give her a ride- my responsibilities were going to start from the moment she told me, I knew. I start up the hallway, my movements slightly jerky like a puppet on a string. I knew it wouldn't truly sink in until later, maybe even when Kali's stomach grew.
I turn the corner to start down the dead-end hallway that my lower was on and let out a mumbled string of curses. A brunette was leaning against my locker, chewing her gum with her arms crossed over her ample chest. "Where were you? Why didn't you reply to my texts?" Kathy asks, her voice snappy before I'd even managed to get a greeting out. "My phone died." I say simply, shrugging my shoulders. I decide not to answer the first question. "Where were you?" she asks again, her brown eyes narrowing at me. I shrug, standing in front of her. "I need to get into my locker. I have a doctor's appointment." I say, hoping she'd buy into it. Kathy moves out of the way to stand beside me as I open it, her usually pretty face pinched.

[xcrisis]

I followed Jeffrey down the hallway carefully. He was walking like he had something stuck up his ass. He was freaking out. I knew I should have waited to tell him. Even if it meant not telling him at all. But whats done is done. And now he's going to stick around. He's going to help out. My baby would have a dad.

We had just rounded the corner when Jeffrey let out a string of curses. I stopped when I saw her. I never liked Kathy that much. But apparently Jeffrey did. And Kathy was the type to get jealous easily. So this wasn't going to turn out good. Especially since I was just about to ruin her day. She seemed pissed at Jeffrey. And she was about to be even more pissed.

I walked up behind him and stood next to Kathy. "Hey Kathy! How are you?" I smiled at her, being nice as can be. "I hope you don't mind my stealing Jeffrey for a while. On his way to his doctors appoint he said he would give me a ride home."