Trouble came a callin'; Attyston

[Deleted]

Connor closed his eyes as fingers moved through his hair. He felt dizzy and sick. "Good.." He mumbled, then sighed and apologized for saying it. He knew he needed to at least try. For Attyston. He'd already put him through so much.
"Lay with m-me..?" He asked, taking his hand, though the action clearly hurt his arm. He felt hot tears begin to roll down his cheeks. Maybe from guilt, or maybe from all the pain and brokenness inside. He wasn't really sure anymore, just let them drop down his cheeks as he reached for the remote to the television.

[Attyston Thomas]

I chuckle darkly as Connor replies 'good' to me before mumbling an apology. "Sure." I reply, running my thumb over his cheeks as tears fell. I slip my Toms off my feet and pull back his blanket to get under, tossing it back over both of us. "I got it." I say, leaning forward to grab the remote. I lean back into Connor, handing it to him and scooting down so that he could see the TV over my head. I bite my lower lip absentmindedly, hoping that he wasn't mad at me, for yelling, for stopping him, or embarassed or ashamed by whatever had happened last night.

[Deleted]

Connor swallowed as Attyston wiped a the falling tears. It wasn't his fault..
He turned on MTV but just closed his eyes, cradling his left arm protectively To his chest and draping the right over Attyston. He felt less pain in the right arm than the left, considering past nerve damage from shooting drugs.
It wasn't long before he was drifting into exhausted sleep. Whimpers escaped him here and there, soft apologies.
He rarely slept well, and guilt and pain did not help at all.

[Attyston Thomas]

A small smile crosses my face as he drapes his right arm over me, snuggling back into him happily. I could feel his ribs against my back through my shirt. Connor was so thin, but, hoepfully, he'd start eating a bit more. Maybe I could guilt him into doing it for me. Whatever helped him in the long run, even if it hurt me. He was all that mattered. Soon soft snores, mutterings and whimpers reach my ears and I knew that he was asleep. I stay put for a little while longer before gently easing out from under the blanket. I bend over to tuck it back around Connor before wandering into the kitchen, pulling out a soda and cracking the top to take a sip. I lean against the refrigerator, leaning my head back against it to look up at the ceiling.

[Deleted]

Connor stirred here and there, sleeping a good hour before he woke up gagging in pain. He blinked awake, clearing his throat, and fisted his hands in the blanket as pain seared through his arms.
He rolled over, strugglin upright. Though caught up from the blood loss, he was dizy from lack of food. And he knew pain killers wouldn't settle well without it. Still it was worth a shot. "Y-y-you got pain k-killers?" He rasped, voice steained a bit.
He tried to calm himself, breathing slowly, and drew his knees up to gaze sullenly at the tv. It was his fault. He deserved the pain. His fault...he deserved the pain... He kept repeating it in his head, squeezing his eyes shut to hide the tears.

[Attyston Thomas]

I had since finished my soda and had sat down on the arm of the couch, crossing my arms over my chest to watch the TV, though my mind was elsewhere. What would happen now? It was obvious that Connor needed help, but it wasn't like either of us had money to send him to rehab or some shit. I look up as he finally wakes, the first words out of his mouth about pain killers. I should have known. "If I had any do you think I'd give them to you?" I ask seriously, raising my eyebrows at Connor. I finally sigh, feeling bad. I stand and wander into the bathroom, pulling open the medicine cabnet. Extra toothpaste, a couple condoms, and asprin. I highly doubted that was what he needed, but I grab the bottle anyway, tossing it to him once I enter the living room.

[Deleted]

Connor blinked in surprise. "No.." He whispered, voice cracking. He took the words as mutual agreement. He deserved to suffer the pain. Teeth gritted as he tried focusing o something other than the stinging and burning of the stitched open wounds up his arms.
So by the time Attyston returned and tossed the Asprin at him, Connor had already put it in his ead that he didn't deserve anything to ease the pain he'd caused, and he shoved it off onto the floor, curling up against the couch, face buried in it and knuckles white as he gripped the blanket.

[Attyston Thomas]

I groan as he pushes the pill bottle away so that it fell to the floor. "Dammit, Connor, just take the damn asprin. I hate to see you like this." I say, walking over to pick it up and put it on his lap. I look down as Jascaar toddles over to hit my foot. I bend down to pick him up, cuddling him to my chest. I go over to where Connor had dumped out his bag earlier and grab one of the bottles of formula, plopping down to sit cross legged on the floor, guiding the nipple of the bottle towards the white kittens mouth. A small smile crosses my mouth as he latches on to start suckling. "There's a good baby." I murmur, running my thumb over his head softly.

[Deleted]

Connor growled and swallowed three pills dry, wondering if his body would even feel their effects considerin his drug tolerance. Tears fell down his cheeks and he watched Attyston sit down to feed Jascaar, then curled back ip on the sofa again. He was angry and upset at himself, in general. The depression was eating him inside out as fast as his own body practically was. He coughed a bit, leaning over to set the pills aside so Attyston wouldn't think he was hiding the. For later use.
He didn't want to completely break any trust, but he had a feeling Attyston would be monitoring everyhing he put into his body when he could.

[Attyston Thomas]

I sigh as he growls and I focud on the albino kitten on my lap. My heart went out to him, being blind, but it wasn't like he could miss his sight- he'd been born blind. He'd never knwon what it was like to see. Sorta like Connor, perhaps, in a way. Finally Jascaar seems full and curls up on my lap. I take him into my hands and stand, walking over to sit beside him on the couch. "Someone wants to say hi." I coo softly, holding the white kitten out to him with a gentle smile in my face. "I'm sorry, I just hate to see anyone like this, espeically you." I add, looking down at my lap in embarassment. I hoped he wasn't mad at me, but everything had just gone downhill so fast.

[Deleted]

Connor glanced at him withou a smile. He took Jascaar, careful of his arms, and snuggled him closer. Coughing a bit he shrugged at what Attyston said. "I-I've ben like this f-for two years. I'm still k-kicking." He searched his face, carefully sitting up in pain and curling at Attyston's side, taking one of his hands.
"Y-you weren't s'posed to find me...nobody was.. But y-you did..and I'm sorry. Not f-for trying, but for you finding m-m-me like that.. I just made th-things w-worse..."
He swallowed a bit, voice cracking. "I'm not mad a-at you though.."

[Attyston Thomas]

I sigh as he replies that he'd been like he was for two years. That didn't calm my fears any, maybe it made them worse. He curls up against my side and I wrap my right arm around his thin shoulders to pull Connor to me, green eyes watching as he played with my fingers. I stay silent as he continues, biting my lower lip. "I can't believe you actually thought I wouldn't look for you. It's fine, Connor, I'd do anything to help you. I would never have just left you there to die." I reply, shaking my head, shaking my fringe out of my face so that I could look over at him, conscious of how close our faces were. "I'm not mad you, either. Just worried." I add, looking down at my lap, not wanting to meet his gaze.

[Deleted]

"I wanted to..." He whispered. He kissed Attyston's jaw, trying to get him to look. Then he kissed him softly. "I'll do m-my best to stop the cutting.." He rasped. "I sh-shoulda known better..." He sniffled a bit, laying his head against Attyston's shoulder and sighing shakily. His arms were killing him.
Coufhing a bit, he rubbed an eye with his free hand, not bothering move away.

[Attyston Thomas]

I decide not to reply to his comment that he had wanted to die. I refused to, I couldn't let myself acknowledge that it was true. I nod as he goes on to say that'd he try to stop cutting. Maybe I could get him to talk to Londyn, like a support group or something like that. Maybe it'd help both of them. I turn to face Connor as he presses a kiss to my jaw, his lips meeting mine not soon after. I pull him to me as he rests his head on my shoulder, pressing my lips to his temple softly, looking down to where Jascaar had curled up on Connor's lap, apparently hoping for a nap. I gently pull him into my lap, wrapping both my arms around him and laying my head on his shoulder.

[Deleted]

Connor curled against him in his lap, blue eyes closing. He relaxed, head remaining against his shoulder, free hand resting on Jascaar's small body, the other hand clinging to Attyston's loosely. He focused on his breathing and the beating of his heart.
Matching his own uneven breaths as much as possible, he was eventually beginning to drift ito sleep again. It was all he could think to do. He had no physical or mental strength left at the moment, and it allowed him to forget the pain.