Tears Of The Soul; Attyston

[Deleted]

The band was together, finally including Con though he felt like Att was only being nice. Because though they'd heard him play, the recent slashes to his arms made it painful to do so. So really they'd had him doing some vocals. Right now they were taking five. Connor sipped a water, jotting lyric ideas down on a pad of paper and kind of keeping to himself. He wasn't so sure what Att's friends thought of him now that he'd attempted suicide before Attyston's eyes and they were dating.
He glanced down as his phone buzzed, eyeing the blocked number curiously and opening the text.
'Thought you should know I got this video two years ago. Look familiar? Hahaha.'
Connor hesitated, pushed play, and instantly realized he would regret it.
It was him and Adam, starting with those last words that haunted Connor. 'I love you baby bro..' The spin of the barrel, the gun to his head, the trigger, the bullet, Connor's catterwal as he rushed to catch his brother's dead body. Blue eyes flickered across the screen as that haunting memory played back. Whoever this was had watched it happen, and hated him enough to torment him.
A sob built up in Connor's throat, bubbled past his lips and the pen and paper fell from his hand as he gagged, throwing up mouthfuls of water in his distgust, knocking the chair back and shoving past Riddle, phone hitting the ground where the replaying video still reached his ears.
Connor stumbled outside and fell to his knees, shaking.

[Attyston Thomas]

We'd just decided to meet up in my apartment for this practice, go over lyrics and such. Not much, but we'd been needing to write some new stuff. Connor was a pretty good guitar player, though it was probably hindered by his arms. His voice wasn't half bad either, a couple tips and lessons and he'd work.
"I just don't know what else to do with it. I mean, its a good meaning, but I can't think of anything to add to it." I huff to Riddle, biting on my pen. I'd left Connor to his own devices, not wanting to seem to be pushing my friends away in exchange for a boyfriend. I mean, he was amazing and I loved him, but I needed time with my bros, too.
I look up as Riddle falls into my chair, retching sounds reaching my ears. The door opens and there's silence for a moment before I set my pen down and stand, walking over to the door and closing it behind me, squatting down at Connor's side. I don't say anything, don't ask questions, just pull him into my arms. I didn't know if I actually wanted him to tell me, but I wouldn't ask all the same. He'd tell me if he wanted to.

[Deleted]

Connor wheezed, bidy struggling to keep up with his rapid breaths. He leaned into Attyston, shaking as he sobbed into his shoulder, gagging. There wasn't a whole lot to throw up though. "I-..they-...s-s-someone rec-corded the night m-my brother died...." He cried brokenly. "Wh-whoever it was just s-s-sebt it to me." He gagged again, beginning to cough over Attyston's shoulder.

[Attyston Thomas]

I bite my lower lip as he leaned into me, wheezng. I gently pat his back soothingly, hoping thate he'd start to calm down. I stiffen as Connor tells me what happened and I nod slightly. That would make anyone upset, but him even more so. What kind of a dick would do that? Why were people so cruel? "Do you know who it was?" I ask, a certain tone in my voice. If I found out who it was, he wouldn't be thinking it was so funny anymore. I sigh softly, sitting down on the concrete and pulling Con into my lap, still holding him.

[Deleted]

Connor trembled, shakung his gead with a sniffle. "One of tge s-seniors at school 'm sure.." He rasped, voice cracking. Connor tried calming himself down. But the incident was fresh in his mund, a nightmarw come back to life before his eyes. He knew he'd never forget it. But he hadn't thought he'd have to watch it happen again. And why now, when things were finally fucking going okay for once?

[Attyston Thomas]

Well. His answer didn't exactly narrow it down, I was sad to say. I would've beat that punk's ass. "I can tell Riddle and Gene we need to reschedule if you don't feel up to it." I say softly, tucking a strand of black ahir behind his ear. "I won't leave you out here alone, in in there alone. Unless you want me to leave." I continue, hoping to calm him down. I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to say 'sorry', that usually just made it worse. But I didn't want to leave him out here, I didn't want to not offer comfort or support. I gently press my lips to his cheek, holding him to me.

[Deleted]

"I don't c-care.." Connor whispered. "'M not gonna ru-uin your practice.." He shook his head, closing his eyes at the kiss on the cheek. Tears dripped down his face and he sighed shakily. "I-I'll go back in eith y-y-you..you guys c-can finish what you were doing..."
He got up unsteadily, bringing a fist to his lips a moment, absolutely sickened. Then he took Att's hand and led him back inside, head down. He began crying hard as he bent to scoop up his phone and exit out of the video, dropping the phone carelessly onto the table and sitting down in a chair in silence, knees drawn up as he hid his face.

[Attyston Thomas]

"We're not even really practicing." I argue gently. I reach out to wipe the tears from his cheeks and let Connor get off my lap and stand, me doing the same. I squeeze his hand reassuringly as he takes my hands and I close the door behind us, ignoring the questioningly looks that Riddle and Gene gave me. I might tell them in time, but what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. I want to snuggle Con and protect his as he sits back on his chair, pulling his knees up, but leave him, sitting back down in my chair. I run a hand through my hair, looking back at my pen. I flip to a new page in my notebook, having alot of inspiration for something angry. I had to get it out somehow.

[Deleted]

Connor tilted his head so the other two couldn't see him crying, ready to punch the first person to say something about it. He watched Attyston write, trying to focus on that, and eventually got up and sat down in his lap, head on his shoulder, a hand resting on his chest. Blue eyes skimmed the words on the page, though he didn't say anything.

[Attyston Thomas]

I'm so intent on my writing that I jump when he sits down on my lap. I wrap my free arma round his waist, continuing in my rant, Riddle and Gene sort of staring at their own papers. They'd never been very good with writing, I usually wrote most of our stuff. I pause, green eyes skimming the page. I bite my lower lip, I'd probably used the word 'fucking' too many times, but screw it. Every band needed some angry shit once in a while, it couldn't all be love songs. Though, we might need a couple of those, too. I bring my gaze to Connor at the thought, resting my head on his shoulder as I looked down at the paper, trying to think of what to title it. "You okay?" I ask gently.

[Deleted]

"No.." Connor whispered, closing his eyes and scratching angrily at a wrapped arm. He sniffed and reached to wipe his face clean of tears, too tired to fake that he was alright. He was so done with people..
Blue eyes closed, chest wavering with each faint breath. His stomach growled and he scowled faintly, carefully shifting his weight.
But he didn't move at all, trying to relax as best he could.

[Attyston Thomas]

I sigh at his reply and set my pen down to wrap the arm I was holding it in around his waist. "If you find out who sent it, you tell me." I reply, my green eyes finding his face. I can't help but grin as Connor's stomach growled, it was sorta humerous. "We're gonna go." Gene says, pushing his faded orange hair out of his face. "Yeah, I told Aqua I'd be back in five minutes." Riddle adds. "We can reschedule for Friday, maybe? After Con's out of school, though, he's sorta been skipping that." I suggest and they nod. It was sorta odd to be dating someone still in school, but he was taller than me, and he never acted like he was younger.

[Deleted]

Connir nodded, sighing as they said they had to go. "Sorry.. I-I didn't mean to ruin practice," He mumbled. He wasn't always like this, hopefully they didn't think he was because he felt they were seeing a pattern. He could be fun.. Really...
He wtched them go sullenly, and got up to go get more water, scratching his scarred throat.

[Attyston Thomas]

"It wasn't really practice. And, if you would've watched them, you'd have noticed that they weren't really doing anything. I usually write most of the material." I reply, letting go of Connor so that he could stand and get more water. I push my hair out of my face, standing to open one of the doors or the pantry to pull out a box of cereal and pour a bowl full of lucky charms. I pick out a couple marshmallows, leaning casually against the counter before offering it to Con, hoping that he'd at least eat a bit of something. He couldn't sustain himself on water.

[Deleted]

Connor shruggwd sullebly, sighing and grabbing a spoon. He hauled his thin figure onto the counter with a bit of struggle, obviously lacking on any sort of syrength. Taking the bowl he scooped a spoonful into his mouth, chewing slowly so he wouldn't make himself sick.
Blue eyes remained fixed on the floor, clouded over with grief.