Tears Of The Soul; Attyston

[Attyston Thomas]

I roll my eyes as he argues that he wasn't amazing. He just didn't see it, was all. No one was ever a good judge of their own character. "G'night." I reply, closing my eyes. I'm soon asleep, and no dreams come to me.
I blink my eyes open in the morning and start to sit up before it feels like a bomb went off in my head. "Fuck." I groan, laying back against the pillow. I rub at my face, trying to remember what'd happened last night. I look over at Connor beside me, but I had clothes on this time, so I assumed that nothing had happened. I hold my hands to my face in shame at my nonexistant memory and pray that I hadn't made an ass out of myself.

[Deleted]

Connor stirred a bit with a faint wheeze, rolling over and retching over the side of the bed suddenly. He shuddered and shivered, realizing his fever must have broke at some point recently. His chest hurt, lolungs, stomach, abdomen. He couldn't stop his shaking.
Rollin over he curled up by himself even as he heard Attyston curse. A hand reached to touch at his racing heart before he dropped it limply off the bed.

[Attyston Thomas]

I stay in my position for a couple moments, listening as Connor moved beside me before retching. I sigh and sit up, ignoring my pounding headache. I look over at him, wanting to comfort him but feeling too bad to. I close my eyes and put my head in my hands, hating myself.
"W-What happened last night?" I ask hesitantly, not looking at him.
I remembered that I'd been mad at him, I remembered writing and starting to drink, but after that it was all a blur- and I hated it. I could usually remember every little thing, but when I got alcohol in me, I couldn't remember anything.

[Deleted]

Connor wheezed breathlessly, coughing. "Y-you drank seven beers, ran i-into your ex at the park...Londyn c-called 'n we argued before i got yout-too go....to bed." Connor mumbled, licking his lips. He closed his eyes again, scratching at an arm above the bandage desperately, nails clawing the skin, tring to find pain to focus on, self mutilation needs heightened with the lack of the drugs.

[Attyston Thomas]

I nod as he replies and sigh before pushing my hair out of my face. "Guess I didn't do anything totally stupid." I mumble darkly to myself before swinging my legs over the side of the bed and standing, putting a hand to my head.
"Gonna get some asprin." I explain before opening the bedroom door and starting down the hallway. I step in and open the medicine cabinet, shaking two into my palm before taking one more out for good measure. I hold them in my palm as I start into the kitchen, grabbing a glass before stopping at the mess in the sink. Well, I'd thrown up last night, too. I sigh, turning the faucet on and taking the asprin before washing out the sink.

[Deleted]

Connor grunted in response, twitching and rolling onto his stomach, cheek pressed to the pillow. His lips were parted as he panted, wheezing a bit since he was lying on his stomach and chest. Eyes were half open, red rimmed and watering. He really didn't want to get up but he doubted he would get any sleep either. Not with how he was feeling. And he knew better than to think Att would give him anything. But stopping cold tirkey? Connor had never completely stopped using since he started. So he wasn't aware if there were dangers to his sick body.

[Attyston Thomas]

I push my hair out of my face and fill the glass again before stopping my the bathroom to grab a couple asprin again and carry them back to Connor. "Didn't know if you'd want anything." I say, holding both out to him. Once he takes them I pull open a couple drawers and pull out a clean pair of boxers and shorts.
"Avert your gaze unless you want a show." I say, not feeling like taking the extra steps to the bathroom to change. I pull down the shorts I'd fallen asleep in, followed by my underwear. I pull on the boxers then the shorts and stretch, feeling slightly better just being in clean clothes.
I sigh and crawl onto the bed, though I don't get under the covers.

[Deleted]

Connor downed three pills, hoping they'd stay down on his empty stomach. He did have an urge to eat, but didn'twant to make himself sick.
The bedmoved and Connor assumed Attyston had climbed back onto it. He shut his eyes all the way and wiped drool from the corner of his mouth before he sneezed and groaned in complaint.

[Attyston Thomas]

"I don't feel like moving." I mumble, looking up at the ceiling.
I glance over at Connor as he sneezed.
He looked like hell.
Withdrawls, I supposed. I sigh and shake my head slightly, reaching over to run my hand through his black hair gently.
"If I did do something stupid last night, I'm sorry." I say, pulling my hand back to myself.

[Deleted]

Connor jumped at the touch in his hair than relaxed. Jittery much? He shrugged a bit indifferently. He dupposed he couldn't complain, though at the same time he was upset about it.
Finally curling on his side, he squirmed from his jeans. He scooted a little closer, trembling body pressing to Att's side.

[Attyston Thomas]

I frown as he jerks after I touch him and sigh, my green eyes fixed on the ceiling as I try and focus on anything but my pounding head. I glance over as Connor squirms around before scooting over near me. I stay on top of my covers but turn onto my side, gently resting my head on his shoulder and letting my right arm rest on his chest.
"Do you want anything? More water or whatever?" I ask, wanting to make up for getting drunk last night. I really did feel bad about it, and I knew I'd probably somehow made an idiot out of myself.

[Deleted]

"Not y-you, just jumpy...." Connor slurred. He kept close to him, aware that Attyston could feel his irregular breaths, rapid heartbeat. He gently moved his hand away from the bruising where he'd been kicked. It was already yellowing which was good. It would fade away in the next few days, no damage done.
"No 'm f-f-fine..." He supposed, in a way, withdrawal was deserved punishment. For the drugs themselves, and for hurting Att.
"I do want you...to r-read what I wrote 'n my journal.." He sniffled. Not only did he want him to know how broken he'd felt that he hurt Attyston, but amidst it he'd mentioned being sick. And maybe it was easier to read than hear, first.... How he had damged himself inside. Not all on his own no, but he'd definitely sped up the process.
"Entry, th-thirty somethin' to ye-esterdays should help..." He rasped, curling up more with pained tears as he felt like there were needles in his gut. Eyes flickered and he shut them tight, drawing in a wavering breath and lettin it out slowly until the sick feeling passed.

[Attyston Thomas]

I sigh as he speaks before moving my arm off of his chest and I look past him at the wall. How had it come to this? Just a couple days before it had been all smiles, laughs, hugs, and kisses, and now look at us.
I frown as Connor tells me that he wants me to read his journal and I sit up before sliding off the bed to bad down the hallway to the living room where the notebook was sitting on the coffee table. I sit on the sofa cross legged before opening it and flipping to the start of the thirties, feeling like I was invading his privacy. But, he had just told me that he wanted me to read it, right?

[Deleted]

Connor sniffled softly. God what was he doing? He wanted to sleep so bad, wanted to be asleep when Attyston finished. But he knew that wouldn't happen. The next week or two would be terrible with withdrawal. If he didn't give in before that, relapse.
He shifted his weight, drawing knees carefully up to his chest and chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek.

[Attyston Thomas]

I sit back as I start reading, my green eyes skimming the page at an even speed. Soon my brow creases as it talks about his home life, his parents, and his brother and sister. I truly felt I was reading something that no other human being except Connor was supposed to see, and felt uncomfortable. Soon I reach the part that had apparently been written yesterday, as it was the last. I bite my lower lip as I read, feeling like an ass. I'd obviously hurt him, and he felt that he was hurting me. But.. he was sick? I hadn't heard of anything of that before. I swipe at my eyes, surprised to find myself crying. The way he wrote it, it made it seem like he didn't have much time left. I sniffle and close it before standing, looking back down the hallway but not wanting to face Connor just yet. I wanted to sort out my thoughts and emotions first.