Around And Around; Jayson

[Londyn Thomas]

I nod to the librarian as I walk into the library, my book of Edgar Allan Poe short stories in my hand. I walk back down the stacks, until I find a secluded aprt of the large library, the stack that had the series of lights out. I plop down in the corner, putting my back against the stack and tuck a stray strand of blue hair behind my ear.
It had been about a week since getting hit, and my concussion was pretty much gone by now. I also hadn't seen Jayson again, and I didn't know whetehr I was upset or relieved about that. I pull my iPod out of my pocket, unplugging the ear buds- the librarian was almost a thousand years old and could barely hear or see, so I was probably fine, though I turned the volume down a bit as I started Hospital For Souls by Bring Me The Horizon. I set my iPod to the side as I crack open my book, having just enough light to read by but it was dim enough that most people wouldn't bother to come down here, and I had all lunch period.

outfit: click

[Jayson Christopher]

Jayson had lost his race last week, and then his father had found weed in his room and they'd got in a fight and really the rest of the week had gone downhill. So Jayson had stayed on the down-low trouble-wise. Right now he wanted to be left alone fter a fight earlier that day, and had mellowed out on some green and was sitting in a corner of the library looking at books with pictures, too lazt to read and knowing none of his friends would be here. So seeing Londyn sit down nearby was a bit of a surprise.

[Londyn Thomas]

I don't notice Jayson sitting in the corner and run a stray hand through my blue hair as I read, tapping my foot against the bookshelf in time with the beat.
"The days are a death wish, A witch hunt for an exit, I am powerless." I sing softly, moving side to side on 'powerless'. My blue eyes continue to scan the page as I read, enjoying being all by myself- or at least I thought I was.

[Jayson Christopher]

JAyson listened to her quietly for a moment, watching her and playing with the stud in his lip before shifting his weight. "You dyed your hair," He stated simply, eye color bright in his high state. He didn't approach her, still worried he might startle her. Not to mention they hadn't talked in a week since he really hadn't been around, skipping school nd such.

[Londyn Thomas]

I'm reading about some jews pulling up a basket before I jump at a familiar voice, looking up to see Jayson. A blush crosses my face and I'm suddenly glad that it was dim. "I, uh.. was tired of violet." I stutter before shrugging my thin shoulders and looking away, back at my book though I didn't read. Oli starts on 'have you ever took a blade to your wrists? have you been skipping meals?' and I bite my lower lip, hating the effect that the lyrics had on me, how they tended to describe be. "How's life been?" I ask awkwardly, looking towards him for a moment.

[Jayson Christopher]

"I like it." No smile lit up his face.He wasn't himself. Not today.At her question he shrugged, turning the page in the picture book boredly, wondering why it was even in a high school library. "Shitty,' He huffed at her question. "Yours? Your head okay?"

[Londyn Thomas]

I nod at his compliment, though it sounded empty. He didn't sound himself, yet who was I to judge? I frown at Jayson's reply and look back down at my book, though I'm not actually reading it. "Yeah, my concussion's pretty much gone, though if you ask Att I should be in ICU." I reply, chuckling bitterly. I shake my head and look back over at Jayson before looking back down. I didn't know what to say, I still felt really awkward. "Uhm." I mumble, trying to think of something to say.

[Jayson Christopher]

A smile teased his lips then faded away. "Yeah? At least that's all it was.." He lowered his gaze again, flipped another page, and sighed softly. He wasn't sure what to say to her right now."M leaving at the bell," He offered, not really sure why she'd need to know, but it was a reason to break the silence at least. He rubbed his face wearily.

[Londyn Thomas]

"Yeah." I sigh, nodding a bit and running a hand through my blue hair. I still felt bad about the whole kiss thing, but I didn't want to bring it up- that'd be so awkward I could almost feel it now. "Me too." I agree, nodding a bit and looking over to change the song to A Prophecy by Asking Alexandria. I huff at the opening lyrics 'how stubborn are the scars when they won't fade away? or just a gentle reminder that now are better days?' and shake my head a bit before looking back at my book. "I, uh, haven't seen you around lately.. but, you're a Senior." I start, trailing off at the end and looking away.

[Jayson Christopher]

"I haven't been around lately." He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Skipped Tuesday and Wednesday and was on an ecstasy crash yesterday.." He admitted, not much regret in his voice either. Eyes fixed back on the book blankly and he finally just shut it, drawing his knees up before shifting his weight and crossing his legs instead.

[Londyn Thomas]

I nod a bit as he replied and then explained. I look at my lap awkwardly, running a hand through my hair and fiddling with my bangs. "I've only cut.. six times in the past week." I offer, shrugging my shoulders a bit. I didn't know why I was telling Jayson that other than the fact I felt I was obliged to. I raise my blue eyes to his face for a moment before looking away. "How'd the race go?" I ask, trying to show an interest in his life.

[Jayson Christopher]

Jayson frowned when she gave him the number of times she had cut. Six too many that was for sure. But he kept his mouth shut, no need to fuck hings up again. Then she asked about the race and he couldn't help but laugh bitterly. "I lost. Five hundred dollars down the drain." He shoved the book away, scowling as he knocked a stack of about ten more over. "Happens to the best of us I guess. Can't complain." And he wouldn't. He'd keep it all inside once he gained control of these emotions again, once those smiles returned.
He'd keep it all inside until it crept back up like this again, the monsterous shadow of confusion and stress. The. He'd party, purge in a way, sulk on his own time until it was able to again be reigned back in, and those smiles would return.

[Londyn Thomas]

I sigh softly at his chuckle and I just feel worse. "Oh." I say, looking down at my lap. I was surprised to find tears swimming in my eyes, and I felt like it was my fault. Why? I was no one to Jayson, just a nusance, if anything. "I-I need to find a book for my English class." I mumble, getting to my feet. I couldn't stay here anymore, I'd just ruin something. I sniffle softly, starting back down the stack and then take a couple turns to star down another stack, one that turned and then came to a stop- but no one could see you if they were just walking by. I plop down on the floor, suddenly realizing I'd left my phone. I put my head in my hands. I'd go back for it later, after the bell rang. I pat at my pockets, not remembering if I'd brought my blade or not. It just felt like a pit had opened inside of me, and I needed to get it out.

[Jayson Christopher]

Jayson watched her go and sighed. He got to his feet, picking up her phone and turning the music off, walking slowly and peering aroumd each corner until he spotted her. He sat down beside her with a grunt, handing her phone over and placing two fingers under her chin to lift her face to eye level. "Don't be upset.. None of it is your fault. The race was no big deal, I'd been distracted thinking about you..." He smiled sheepishly. "I was still worried. But when I got home, I'd been careless about hiding my weed and my dad caught me and we got in a fight.. I was always his least favorite child. He even prefers my best friend more since my brother disappeared. Look.. I get this way... You wouldn't know it but I do.." People knew when Jayce wasn't smiling, things were bad. That he got in more trouble, that he grew more careless because he was so upset.. They knew to keep an eye out. She didn't though, so why not at least tell her he wasn't perfect? "I've got my skeletons in the closet Londyn.. And you can't take the blame for that." He bit his lip. "I uhm... I'd like to re-try that kiss some time when...it's not so awkward.." He chuckled helplessly. "And I'm ramblund. I've been smoking all day so yeah..sorry..." Man he was digging himself a deeper hole.

[Londyn Thomas]

I sigh when I realize that I'd left it at home- that's how much better things had gotten. Usually it was six a day, not per week. I draw my knees up to my chest, looking up as Jayson plops down beside me before looking away again. His figners find the underside of my chin and my blue eyes meet his and I listen to him speak, not nodding or giving any response. A soft blush crosses my pale cheeks as he goes on that he'd like to try the kiss again sometime but i keep my eyes on his as he finishes. I pause for a moment, obviously debating something. Finally I close my eyes to lean forward, gently pressing my lips to his. I didn't want to be afraid anymore, I didn't want to run crying when something put me outside my comfort zone. I wanted to be the old me again, and I'd been the closest to being the old Londyn that day a week ago, with Jayson.. maybe he could help me. It sounded selfish, yeah, but he seemed to bring out the best in me.